My baby has grown big and strong thanks to the milk of three mothers.
For the past 10 months Noah has been sustained primarily at my
breasts, but he has also drunk breast milk donated by my best friend and
a stranger I met online.
I am a convert to modern day milk sharing, a controversial practice
that is growing in popularity in Canada and around the world thanks to
online communities that connect breastfeeding mothers.
In just two years Facebook groups, like Human Milk 4 Human Babies and
Eats on Feets, have attracted thousands of parents seeking an
alternative to infant formula. Locally, mothers post every day asking
for help or offering extra milk from their freezers.
Whether you find the mother-led initiative commendable or needlessly
reckless likely depends on how you view breastfeeding and assess risk.
As any mother knows, there’e no decision more contentious than what you
choose to feed your child.
Though the World Health Organization recommends donor milk before
infant formula, informal milk sharing is frowned on by most health
agencies. Health Canada released a warning in 2010 about the use of
unprocessed breast milk. It noted the medical history of a donor is
often unknown and milk can be contaminated with bacteria or viruses,
such as HIV.
I weighed that caution heavily when debating if we should use donor
milk when my own supply was insufficient. With Noah failing to gain
weight, I had to make a decision quickly. There are only a handful of
milk banks in Canada and their processed milk is largely reserved for
premature babies.
It was easy to take milk from my friend Shivonne. We raised our first
children together and our second babies were born just weeks apart (not
a coincidence). I trust her completely and shed grateful tears when she
handed over precious ounces of fresh milk in Noah’s first week.
When my supply continued to fall behind and Shivonne couldn’t keep
up, I debated turning to another donor. My husband, scared of the risks,
asked that we try formula. I felt rage as I opened the first can.
I didn’t and still don’t see formula as failure. It’s a perfectly
healthy alternative to human milk. I gave it to my first son when I
struggled with breastfeeding and I was raised on it myself. But it is
nutritionally inferior to breast-milk and even one drop changes the
bacteria in a baby’s gut. It angered me that my body was forcing Noah to
accept second best.
His reaction to even the smallest batches of formula only deepened my
anger. He became constipated and cried in pain. Massaging his tummy one
day I decided it was time to reassess the risks. My decision was
cemented by a 2011 commentary in the International Breastfeeding
Journal.
“The more that is known about the risks of substituting for breast
milk, the more reasonable parental choice to use donor milk becomes,”
wrote breastfeeding advocates James Akre, Karleen Gribble and Maureen
Minchin. They noted the risk is manageable when mothers practise
appropriate donor screening, share medical records and handle milk
safely.
“If undertaken, managed and evaluated appropriately, this
made-by-mothers model shows considerable potential for expanding the
world’s supply of human milk and improving the health of children.”
With my husband’s consent, I drove to Milton the next day to pick up
milk from a mother of two I met online. Noah thrived on her milk until
my supply improved with the help of a private lactation consultant,
herbs, a prescription and constant pumping.
If forced to make the same decision again, I would leave the formula
can unopened and turn immediately to donor milk. It’s a shame Canadian
public health officials, for all their promotion of breastfeeding, don’t
agree. Perhaps this is a truly a case of mother knows best.
