Closing The Circle

Welcome to Closing the Circle - Join the Conversation

Thanks for dropping by Closing the Circle, a blog designed to give you, the reader, an easy way to comment on our Full Circle series on eldercare. Each day we'll post a brief summary of the feature's stories from that day's paper, provide a link to the complete story over on our Spec.com website, and open the comments for your thoughts, stories and ideas. Just click on the "comment" button at the bottom of any story summary that you have something to say about.
Come, join the discussion.

Home or The Home?

When parents  need care — lots and lots of care — families often struggle along, making do, until the burden grows too great and they are faced with an awful dilemma: bring the care to them, or bring them to the care; home or the home. While there is undeniably something attractive about supporting a senior in their own home, it can exact a heavy toll, as writer Carmelina Prete tells us in this look at what that decision has meant for Fran Van Sickle, who is struggling to keep her father Charles Hubert in his home.
"He said he's going to live to be 100," Fran laughs. She pauses. Then her smile falls."If he does, I don't know if I will."
But another option, placing them in a home where they'll get 24 hour a day care, can be emotionally draining, as Paul Wilson demonstrates in "It's not easy to leave home" the story of the day George Martin's family moved him into a nursing home.
Do you have any thought or stories to share? Click on the Comment link below.

Dying Well

Preparing for death is an unavoidable part of eldercare. But what does dying well mean?
"A good death is (one) where the person feels they have options and comfort. But that means different things to different people. Do you want to be completely lucid? A bit sleepy? Some will want more aggressive pain managmenet than others."
Carol McKenna at St. Peters Hospital suggests that planning and communication are a key to preparing for death. In todays installment we bring you the stories of two deaths, Aileen and Yvonne. We also offer a brief explanation of hospices, some tips on caring for caregivers and a list of questions and answers families face as parents draw near death.
Share you thoughts by clicking on the Comment link below.

Her story - our story?

"Mom wore a security bracelet that locked the exit doors when she got near. She could walk anywhere in this spacious building, as well as the gorgeous fenced outdoor patio. It was still a cage of sorts, but at least it was gilded."
Writer Lise Diebel pens a heart-breakingly honest story of the decline and deaths of both her parents. It's her story, but it's a story that will ring true to many who've faced the same dilemma, even though others may have made other decisions.
If you haven't read "My Story" yet, you can find it here. And share your thoughts and stories by clicking on the Comment link below.

Becoming a Super-Advocate

Being a child of an elderly parent can often mean being a care-giver. But often these days it means becoming something more, becoming an expert in government rules and regulations, an expert in community services; it means becoming an advocate, a super-advocate for your parent as they negotiate an often complex, over-worked, under-funded system. In her feature today,writer Carmella Fragomeni talks with experts and advocates to offer you the advice you need to become one yourself. If you haven't read it yet, you can find Carmella's story here.
And if you have any thoughts or stories or tips to share, hit the comment link below.

Long-Term Care 101

A crisis often prompts the need for long-term care and crises, of course, can happen without warning. Planning in advance can make all the difference. In Long-Term Care 101 Joanna Frketich offers readers a primer in how to plan for long term care, how to find a good home and how to make sure you get the best care possible. It can be a lot of work, but there's no question it can make a world of difference.
If you haven't seen our primer, you can find Long-Term Care 101 here. If you'd like to share your tips, thoughts or stories, click on the comment button below.

Families Feel Strong-armed

Hospitals in Hamilton may not be able to force seniors to take the first available long term care bed that comes up, but than can make it hard to refuse by offering a difficult choice: pay $300 per day to stay in the hospital,  return home or take the long term bed that's open.
Not everyone's happy with that approach.
"We don't believe it's legal for any hospital to charge anything more than the same rate as a long-term- care home," said Jane Meadus, a lawyer for the Advocacy Centre for the Elderly in Toronto. "We probably get a call once a day on this from somewhere in the province."
This isn't just happening in Hamilton - hospital executives say legislation backs them up, and the tactic used across Ontario is endorsed by Health Minister George Smitherman.
If you haven't read the story yet, you'll find it here.
And if you'd like to share your thoughts or stories, click on the Comment button below.
Stories by Joanna Frketich, photos by Cathie Coward

One home, Four Generations

"Ray Gamble used to be alone. Now he's the meat in a sandwich that's stacked four generations and two cultures high."
Thus does columnist Paul Wilson introduce us to Ray and his four generation family who've found themselves crammed into a two bedroom bungalow in Stoney Creek.
"Did I envision life would turn out this way? No," he says.
Gambles choice — to blend the generations in a single home — was a mix of choice and circumstance, but they harken back to a very ordinary way of life, one that began slipping away from us as we returned from the World War Two and began putting down roots in brand new suburbs. The Gambles show us how it used to be — and still can be.
You can read the full story here. Add your comments by clicking on the Comment button below.
Story by Paul Wilson, photo by Cathie Coward

Where the heart is

Staying at home is the first choice of many, if not all seniors, but finding the supports needed to keep seniors in their own homes is often a struggle — and qualifying for financial assistance even more of a challenge. A new report by a local seniors advocacy group, Hamilton CARES offers some hard truths about the battle to stay in your own home.
"Despite several key economic studies that have found staying at home cost the country less ... finding affordable, continuous and enough help to stay at home can be difficult."
Some of the need - a great deal of the need - has been picked up by "an army of thousands of volunteers." But much need remains.
If you haven't read the story yet, you'll find it here. Once you have, share your thoughts and stories below.
Story by Lisa Grace Marr, photos by Gary Yokayama

Finding Home - Lynda's story

A father in crisis, a mother unable to care for herself, a teenage son, a job. A life. With those words we are introduced to the Eddy's — Lynda, a 53 year-old single mom, Blair her father whose recent stroke means he need round-the-clock care, and her mom, Dorothy whose own days of independent living are drawing to a close.
The story opens with Lynda packing her father for a home that Lynda vowed she'd never let him go to.
"It reeked of urine, no one greets her, and staff seemed more concerned about smoke breaks than the residents." Hamilton Health Sciences has told her: move Blair there or start paying $300 a day to keep him in his temporary room.
"A year ago, Lynda would have found her own story atrocious - unbelievable even. But now she knows all too well how typical it is ...
If you haven't seen it yet, the story can be found here.

Story by Joanna Frketich, photos by Cathie Coward